Don’t anger the author! Or: random laptop whacking…

Really, I’m usually quite an easy-going, reasonable person with a rather positive outlook on life. So what if lately life just decides to show me it’s ugly, hairy backside again? Yeah. Not happy. At all. And of course the writing suffers horribly from lack of authorly focus or any kind of consistency let alone quality….

Anyway, it really shouldn’t get bad enough for me to release random irrational and yet very expressive anger on my poor helpless laptop. And yet it did and now I’m all sad and regretful, looking at a cracked, hinge/screen, a result of….yeah….sort of….kind of…throwing the laptop… :S

Yeah, I know I really, really shouldn’t do that, but you know when you’re mad enough to just have to throw something? Anything? And if you’re particularly angered and irrational and the closest ‘anything’ happens to be your most-revered laptop innocently dwelling on your lap….well….

Luckily, Dell is awesome enough to cover this with their complete care accidental damage thingy and I’ll get it all fixed for free. The only downside is that I’ll have to send it in (waiting on the box now) So I’ll be sad and laptop-less (well, dealing with the mediocrity of Stephen’s old laptop) for a while now. Really, really sucky.

But hey in the end it’s my own fault, right? *sigh*

Really need to work on those temper tantrums.


Okay, someone switch off ‘life’ right now and let me get some progress done…

Yes, I seriously hate it. Now I’m having the next couple of chapters all lined out, having some weekend time that I don’t spend at the writers’ conference or with uni work and what happens? Nothing. And everything.

Fact is that currently I’m having so many different things on my mind that writing just gets pushed into the background.This really annoys me since I really made good progress with the second draft so far, but right now uni and private life gloriously fucking up just kind of put a stop to the creative flow. Of course, it would be awesome to use my writing to get my mind off things, but unfortunately that sometimes just doesn’t work (or maybe i’m just in an ultimately whiney mood and just can’t get myself off this personal trip to get some stuff done?)

Yes, I guess this is some sort of priority talk and I have to admit that I’ve really been neglecting my goal of getting at least some work on the novel done every day. I guess sometimes forcing yourself to sit down and get some work done just doesn’t happen (and I really hope that this particular phase of absolute non-creativity and stress will end soon).

I’m at the LUW writing conference right now, just trying to get my head on straight about things again and hope it’ll result in some inspiration and motivation. Like books on writing, classes here are informative and helpful, but the important part is the talking. Talking about books, characters, your own ideas and finding  other writers who maybe write in the same genre or generally have some cool ideas.

I’ll post an update on it later on, so yay for at least some blog content and my apologies for all the frustrated ranting.

Welcome to Educational Capitalism!

In other news: against my Intrinsic Pessimism, mine and the hubby’s student loans and grants both came in on Friday. Ergo: tuition is paid and the refund check is on its way to yours truly’s trusty mailbox.

And yes, all that money wants to be paid back in a couple of years, but by THEN I’ll so totally have landed a book sale and won’t have to worry about such mundane things as student loans anymore 😉

This is where the Personified Intrinsic Pessimism (TM) takes over and yells: BUT YOU’RE STILL STUCK WITH THAT STUPID FLASHBACK SCENE IN THAT FUCKING FOURTH CHAPTER – GET TO WORK!

Yes, Intrinsic Pessimism and my CAPS LOCK are fuckbuddies and they like to show off…Oh dear…

In other words: off to do some writing.

…henceforth the state of Texas shall be erased from the face of the earth!

Is it so hard to send a book that I desperately need for school to the right address? Nonetheless an address definitely not located in fucking Texas and very, very damn specified on my order details? Apologies to everyone living there, your funky accents totally crack me up but right now I don’t like Texas too much. Especially since this isn’t the first time that stuff I ordered is being send to the ass-end-of-nowhere.

Now USPS, please understand that I need that damn book by the 25th. Which is next Monday. Which is when school starts. And no, I won’t spend another 50 fucking bucks on a textbook.

Speaking of which: did I mention how excited I am to get thrown back into the mechanisms of angsty intellectuality that is the wonderful world of university? Yes, my nerd brain rejoices at the prospect of taking all those Creative Writing, Linguistics and Renaissance Lit classes. In regards to the latter one, did I mention how awesome Elizabeth Bear’s Stratford Man duology is and how much I love it when people write about my favorite theories? 😀

Yes, the idea of man on man action between Marlowe and Shakespeare makes me all kinds of happy.

Go figure 😉

EDIT: And here comes an email saying they just got the book back and will resend it, so it should be at my house by Saturday. See? The efficiency of a decent threat!


I don’t know why, but somehow my moves with Stephen always turn out to happen really spontaneously. As in, yes there’s sort of a plan, but that’s about it. We were planning on getting everything moved gradually by Friday. So guess what? Everything’s going to get moved by tonight. Wheeee for being all campy and portable…I guess.

At least all my books are safely stored away in boxes and already made it over to the new apartment so there’s one thing I don’t have to worry about.

Oh and did I mention that I’ll venture south to IKEA to get some bookshelves and other necessary furniture like…a new bed. Seriously, bookshelves take priority 😉

The good old PoV dilemma…

…is seriously kicking my ass right now. Sorry for the French, but yes, it’s bad and maybe I’m just fretting too much about it, but currently my options are:

a) One First Person PoV (Ares) as I did in most of the first draft of Light, including minor dream sections in third person – I loved the ‘direct’ approach here and the fact that I can randomly throw in stray thoughts and inner monologue rather well ( There’s a good scene with Nymeron here )

b) Multiple Third Person PoVs (mainly Ares and Damian, including Raeyn in later books), as I did in Thirteen and Fourteen of the first draft as a multi-PoV experiment. I liked it, but got too many characters involved. I don’t want Light to suffer from character overload in the end, this only stretches out the plot with unnecessary details. Another thing I didn’t like here was the distance the third person PoV creates between reader and character. First person is so much more direct and immediate. (Temporarily ‘published’ Fourteen if you want to take a look at this approach here )

c) Two first person PoV’s (Ares and Damian) with distinct voices. This only leaves the problem with the dream sequences; should I mix in third person scenes or should I do them in first person clarifying that this is not directly happening to Ares/Damian? ( I played around with this here and quite liked it, actually. This is most likely the way I want to go, especially since I’m rather fond of Damian’s ‘voice’, but it leaves the problem with the Dreams as I commented below)

See my problem here, folks? I’d be grateful about some thoughts and linked you some chapters to be able to compare the different styles. I may tinker a bit with all three possibilities to decide which one works best in the end.

In Yoda speek: Meditate about this I must.

EDIT: Okay, as I look over this again, I must say that I think I’m pretty set on the first person approach. When it comes down to it, the only benefit of the third person PoVs is that I’d be able to include more characters, but then again I’d run the risk of stretching the plot out unnecessarily, while I actually liked the pacing in the end of the first draft with Ares’ PoV only really well. Adding Damian to the mix offers me the opportunity to tie-in some interesting tidbits, clarify some background, generally fill the novel with some more plot.

ERGO: yes, two first person PoVs is probably the way I’m going to go, but that leaves the problem of the dream sections: Should Ares’ dreams still be in third person or would that be too confusing, let alone an ultimate style-jumble. Should I write them in first person clarifying how he’s in relation to the character he ‘dreams’ about? Thoughts?

More from the uni-warz

Really, I’ve done all this before in Germany. Applying for uni, filling out tons and tons of paperwork. Getting accepted. Picking classes, buying books, getting used to living in a big city and let’s not forget trying NOT to get lost every time I go to uni (me and orientation don’t go very well together 8) )

Anyway, here we go again. Yesterday I received a letter from WSU saying yes, they accept me as a Utah-resident which means tuition will be under $2,000 instead of *gasp* over $6,000, which I seriously can’t afford. Not that I was overly worried about possibly not being accepted, but you know, I love to stress. So now that that’s settled, I’ll take mot of tomorrow off (really hoping my boss will be back at the office) and attend a student orientation thingy that will hopefully help me fix my schedule as well. Apparently I already have 49 credits from school and university in Germany, now I just need to figure out which ones count for what here… Let’s hope for a nice, patient adviser here then, because hey this is going to take a while…

So now to apply for any kinds of grants and scholarships that I can possibly get…

Keep your fingers crossed for me, folks.