Wow I actually made it through this?

I guess we can book reading through the entire (!) Twilight saga under the same weird, masochistic compulsion that made me read through books like the Bible, the Book of Mormon, Goodkind & Co. – yes by now I do severely doubt my mental health, but hey, at least I know what I’m ranting about 😉

Like uh….a bestseller vampire saga that is mainly built up on ruses (Oh, yeah just kidding, there never ever WAS any actual danger, don’t want to get the tender-hearted reader all worried and worked up, right?). But seriously, I don’t remember when I’ve last read a fantasy series so entirely made up of bad dei ex machinae as Twilight was. Raising the stakes? Oh yes, sure. We’re all angsty and emotional but in the end: oh no worries, we didn’t mean it/it wasn’t like you thought it would be? Er…honestly the ‘are you FUCKING kidding me?’ definition of deus ex machina applies in full color here. Makes me wonder if the author thought her readers really that gullible (er…just a hint, but just because you’re writing a YA novel doesn’t mean it’s gotta be all ‘happily ever after – no harm done’).

Yeah, I know, I know. Apparently I’m a Death Chooser among all my merry little Life-Choosing fellow Mormons uh… Americans who love the books as light, entertaining reads, but honestly people! Girl meets boy, boy is kinda creepy, but absolutely dazzling and bedazzles girl into marrying him, because he’s all her life’s based on and they have a kid and live happily ever after? Don’t you think this is just a little teeeeeny bit outdated?

I mean yeah, at times that whole teenage pregnancy thing had definite streaks of Alien…but really in the end everything’s okay and they get their happily ever after…. Now I’m not a hater of happy endings in general, but the way all of the books have been totally tuned and set up on that makes me cringe. Sure, there are some cool ideas behind it (after all there has to be something that keeps you going through 754 pages of a book that should have been half as long at best), but in the end the poor execution and utter lack of originality paired with utterly wimpy characters is nothing but an ultimate turnoff.

In the end I can only say that I’ve been tremendously entertained updating my mental checklist as to what not to do when writing a novel (like suddenly popping in a second first person character in the epilogue of book three and then for a good part of book four after you base your entire narrative on one first-person PoV – errrr…what was that about consistence?)

*sigh* anway, rant done (for now)

Did I mention that Jen had me pick up L. J. Smith’s The Vampire Diaries to fuel more rants about comparing those to Twilight and find out all the things that have been ‘adapted’ from those books? Yeah, helpless masochist, what can I say?

Need to read something that’s actually worth the time now 😉

P.S.: Man, I can’t believe I forgot to mention that, but I’ll quote Sira on that – Yes, I “survived the bit where the werewolf dude falls in destined love ™ with his love interest’s infant child” – paedophilia? Oh nooooo it’s not LIKE that. Of course. What am I thinking? Tsk tsk!

Oh man.

I sure hate being the only mentally capable person in this godsdamned office.

Really.

And if I happen to miss something as well, we end up with all of our processing checks sent out – without my boss’ signature. Is it really so hard to just go ahead and sign those godsdamned checks right away when they come out of the printer? Is it REALLY?

Man, I need a drink some reeeeeeally strong coffee.

Today’s so not my day.

Even though I had a random strike of brilliant ideas for Four. What was that about planning on writing at the office today? Yeah. Forget it.

Weekend, people. I need WEEKEND. Now.

…and this is French for ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’

Seriously, maybe I should listen to my intuition sometimes. So I’ve read (or should i say skimmed?) through Anne Bishop’s Dark Jewels trilogy over the last three days (I tend to speedread when I don’t really like the books) and honestly the French applies :p

Yes, there were a couple of good ideas, but mix a handful of good character ideas with an overdose of angsty whininess, utter reliance on prophecy, an abundance of sex and any effort to prove that your villains are the baddest and meanest around et voila…

Alright, that’s maybe a little harsh, but honestly, parts of those books just made me cringe and want to throw the books against the wall. I mean, seriously, after all that angst and character destruction and decimating your novel’s population by forty percent, mixed with some more angst and nervous breakdowns, then coming up with that kind of cheesy happy ending that almost makes me think of Lackey’s Last Herald Mage books as far as the chessyness goes? Seriously?

Alright, I shall stop ranting. I know there are many people out there who like Anne Bishop’s books – no offense there – but it’s just not doing it for me other than inspiring me to rant 😉

Hmm >:-/

Yeah, that’s me frowning and not knowing whether I like what I’m reading right now or not. Oh and it also is me when some characters just irritate the heck out of me, because they’re whiny and their authors need to take some lessons in basic plotting. Honestly people, if you think “Because it’s Prophecy” is the answer to all your questions; think again.

I guess this is one of those books that will take me more than the 130ish pages that I’ve already read to get into. Either that or it’s me pining for more Flewelling and Monette to read and me being a demanding reader?

Gah, I hate to wait for books…*grumble,grumble /end rant*

*insert ingenious paraphrase for “I’m stuck!” here*

Bah, One is kicking my ass. Contemplative and descriptive opening vs. dialogue opening (after the prologue is mostly action 8) ) Somebody hold me and soothe my oh so blocked writer’s ego…

…and kick me for letting my characters pull through with the notion of living in an abandoned space ship (yes, it’s cool, but it’s also slightly uh…weird?)

*fights down hysterical giggle*

Shut up, Ares 😉

Indulge me for a one-minute rant…

No editing done, but that’s really not it. The truth is that I’m not quite sure anymore if I really picked the right place to live.

Fucking bible belt states and people telling me how to live, talk – even pray for fuck’s sake without any regard that I don’t even believe in their crap.

I’m seriously tired of ignorant, self-righteous people.

Sorry about the rant, I guess I’m just tired.

Definitely won’t get any writing done today *sigh* It’s not that anyone of my family here would read it anyway. Next weekend we’ll have a huge family reunion. Can I just say that I really don’t care much about going, but that I’ll doubtlessly get roped into it again?

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Nym’s rant of the day

I should really make this a recurring feature of this blog, because well, that’s what it is.

Today’s rant actually is yesterday’s rant, but also qualifies as a general rant from my side referring to American women and kids and maybe Utah in general, but other states are just as friggin’ bad with their baby-obsession.

I’m just really starting to lose my patience with family and random people half teasing, half serious, asking me and Stephen: “Oh and when are you two going to have kids?”

It’s making me tired really. Let’s state a couple things here:

1.) I’m 21, Stephen’s 20. We married pretty young, but just getting married doesn’t mean we automatically want kids. 21 is waaaaaaaaaaaaay early to have kiddos and honestly I have other plans for my life so far.

2.) I personally am not a kid-person. Sure babies are kinda cute, but please don’t leave them with me. I don’t want to teach any kids younger than High School age for a reason. I hate babysitting, I don’t know how to deal with little kids. Deal with it, guys.

3.) Yeah, call it selfish, but education and independence are more important to me (and Stephen for that matter), than having kids. I want to pursue the education that I want, want to do what I want, travel with Stephen and generally enjoy our freedom. My cousin is like 27 and already has had her 6th kid. No offense, I really admire how she does it and apparently that that’s what she wants to do, but being a stay at home mom isn’t for me.

4.) If all that isn’t enough, let’s get down right to medicine. I’m having some sort of unknown genetic defect that raises my risk for blood clots (thrombosis) and I already had two of those, so my doctors told me that getting pregnant – especially with the drugs that I’m taking – wouldn’t be a good idea. It’d have to be planned and generally be under supervision, because in case I get another one of those which may incur an embolia, I’m risking a really-not-so-nice death or disability. No thanks 😉

5.) I very much prefer having our two kitties and Nazca is keeping me as busy as a little kid anyway. Besides that I don’t have to buy her clothes, she doesn’t mind being by herself sometimes and she poops into a friggin box.

Anyway, I’m getting frustrated with the entire topic. Just let me tell you that: Kids aren’t for me. Chew on that, America.

/end rant